Perfect Vision

….and then of course there are those memories which get locked away in a part of the mind where they can lie safely in captivity; quiet and well-behaved until one day they revolt and you realize they have been plotting their escape all along…

On the banks of the tree-lined Charles River, a woman is
running alone, her shoulder length luxurious dark hair pulled back tightly, mesh clothes clinging to her muscular body, chest heaving with each stride, slightly breathless, yet in total control. I watch her from a brown, wooden, memorial bench, about a quarter mile up the path from where she is heading. She hasn’t seen me yet. Off to the east, the setting sun is reflected in the giant glass windows of the towering Hancock building where ten years ago, this woman and I succeeded in building the area's first alternative health intensive care unit. Memories from that ICU's opening night gala come flooding into consciousness.

~ ~ ~

Away from the frenzy of the arrival of the sports figure and political guests, Sophia and I stood together looking out one of the draped, oversized windows of the grand ballroom. Even though it was dark, Sophia was admiring the beauty of the Charles River far below us. She had a childlike wonder about everything he examined. She marveled at the narrow jogging pathways, partly illuminated by a brilliant white full moon, a stark contrast of light and dark, like she and I. She was olive skinned with dark eyes and dark hair. I was blonde, fair skinned and hazel eyed. So different yet we complimented each other in so many ways. We took a moment to smile at one anothers reflections in preparation for the accolades that were about to be showered upon us.

And then it began. I turned away from the window to the aroma of bubbling champagne as a tuxedoed waiter handed me a toasting goblet. Sophia and I clinked our glasses several times as the champagne kept flowing. On the edge of intoxication, all of my senses became heightened and everything became so vivid. Even I looked vivid, having traded my usual black attire for a celebratory, red cocktail dress. Sophia was very complimentary, clearly surprised by my uncharacteristic fashion boldness. Sometime after dinner when the speakers of distinction had finished praising our accomplishment, Sophia took my arm and led me to a quiet room off the main reception area. I wanted to give you something to commemorate our work on this project. She did not need to give anything more. Working with her had done so much for me in those two years. Never had I worked so well on a project with such a prominent physician. Her intelligence, style, optimism and perseverance were so encouraging that I'd been transformed. I felt courageous and there was nothing she and I couldn't accomplish in partnership then. I wanted to give you something…. She handed me a small black velvet box. Inside was a stunning palladium bracelet with the inscription "Perfect Vision," the secret code name we created in the initial stages of our project. I had my jeweler make it especially for ... The light reflected as I dangled the piece of jewelry like a petite disco ball that slightly pestered my eye, coaxing a tear to slide down my cheek.

~ ~ ~
The Charles River is truly magical this evening. The sun rays flit from my shiny bracelet as I reach in my pocket for a tissue to dry my eyes. Realizing that I have lost sight of Sophia, I try to imagine her jogging trajectory. As I turn towards the back of the bench, she makes a loop and heads in my direction. My stomach flutters in anticipation of seeing her after all these years, but my mind keeps dragging me back into the past; a past I am not convinced I am yet brave enough to face.

~ ~ ~
As more tears flowed I wondered what I might do without her. We spent so much time together but our project was complete and we both had to move on. We were close but I wasn't sure if our relationship was real or ending or progressing into a true friendship. She stepped in nearer to me and gingerly pressed the back of her hand to my cheek, caressing the tears. For the first time I became acutely aware of how gorgeous she was: her flawless complexion and large almond brown eyes had me captivated as she glanced from my eyes to my lips. Somehow my admiration for this woman morphed into incredible passion. My senses dulled into dreamlike obscurity and my extremities felt light and tingly as she engaged my lips in a kiss that lasted until we were both left gently gasping for air. Before I could cover my mouth in disbelief, she took my hands and smiled warmly. I smiled back, enchanted and lost in this incredulous moment until my hearing returned in bionic proportion. The once muffled voices from the main room got loud and clear outside the door. Where are the ladies of honor... Has anyone seen Dr Farias?

~ ~ ~
I sit on the bench trying to slow my breathing. The woman who kissed me almost 10 years ago would be here in a moment. I had thoughts of her many times over the years though I hadn’t allowed myself to remember that kiss nor the feelings of exhilaration and confusion that followed.

~ ~ ~
I trembled and stuttered and ran from our embrace back into the party, clutching the bracelet. Everyone stared as I re-entered the ballroom. I knew I looked different. I couldn’t stand up straight and I startled easily when people approached. Did they know what I had just done? I managed to avoid Sophia for the rest of the evening by showering attention on my boyfriend Robert who until that point, had been a neglected escort.

Later that week, Sophia and I spoke. She pleaded with me to discuss our feelings but I could not bear to process any of it, especially the intense electricity I felt when her hand grasped my arm. She was bold, adventurous and willing to see where our kiss would lead. I was nervous and guilty and too afraid of the scorn of others to deal with what had been the most intense moment of my life. She was willing to risk everything to find out what was meant for us. I, on the other hand abruptly declared that Robert was the one. Sophia Farias transferred to a hospital in New York City shortly after my official engagement announcement.

~ ~ ~
My first recollection when I heard she was back in town was how much Sophia loved to workout on the Charles every evening. Now, I watch her run in my direction. My heart sags as she jogs past, then flutters when I hear her foot steps cease. I rise from the bench to meet her, with senses heightened once again but my body trembles, fearful of coming face to face with the memory of a kiss held imprissioned for nearly a decade. I am here because I desperately needed to see her but I had not planned for conversation. I cannot speak but she does.
Kate? Kate!
Her voice echoing my name is dreamy. An instinctive hug. I still feel the electricity in our embrace. When we separate she takes my hands like she did that night, and finds there is no wedding ring. I look away from her and down at the bracelet she had given me. He’s gone. We divorced.
Her thumb caresses the bracelet. I was going to call you when I got back, but I’ve been busy …unpacking things. She tries to look me in the eye.

When I can’t respond, she lets go and steps back assuming nothing has changed between us. Well, it was really great seeing you again.
She jogs slowly away. I can’t let her go again.
I leap after her. How about dinner?

As we jog side by side I inhale deeply, locking in a new memory. The sunset sky is pink, purple and indigo, separate colors until their darker shades blend at the horizon. Green and brown ducks glide effortlessly on the water following a path determined by nature. There is no breeze but the air is crisp and clear. The words on the shiny bracelet on my left wrist describe it all...Perfect Vision.